Eulogy from a Physicist

You want a physicist to speak at your funeral. You want the physicist to talk to your grieving family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every BTU of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.

And at one point you’d hope that the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him/her that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let him/her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her/his eyes, that those photons created within her/him constellations of electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on forever.

And the physicist will remind the congregation of how much of all our energy is given off as heat. There may be a few fanning themselves with their programs as he says it. And he will tell them that the warmth that flowed through you in life is still here, still part of all that we are, even as we who mourn continue the heat of our own lives.
And you’ll want the physicist to explain to those who loved you that they need not have faith; indeed, they should not have faith. Let them know that they can measure – that scientists have measured – precisely the conservation of energy and found it accurate, verifiable, and consistent across space and time. You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around. According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly.

© Aaron Freeman, 2005. Ronin Institute, Chicago Society for Neuroscience. Used by permission.

Vis physici loqui ad tua funera. Vis physici vestri loqui doloribus suis de industria conservationem, sic erit intelligendum, quod industria non mortuus est. Vis physici ad memoriam vestri singultus mater de prima lex thermodynamics; quod non virtute fit creavit in mundo, et nemo est destructa. Vis tuum et matrem scire, quod omnium vestrum navitas, omnis tremor, omnis BTU calor, omnis unda omnis particula, quod erat ei dilectus filius manet eius in hoc mundo. Vis physici tua dicere fletus pater, quod inter vires mundi, te dedit, ut bonum quod habes.

Et ad unum punctum velis spem physici esset gradus descendit de pulpitum, et ire ad tua fractos corde sponsi non in banco, et dices ad eum/eam quod omnes photons, quod semper surrexitque faciem tuam, omnes particulas, quorum semitas erant interrumpitur per tuum risu, per tactum capillorum, centum trillions of particulis, effuso, sicut filii, eorum mores semper mutatur per te. Et ut viduam saxa in armis pia familia, ut physici eum/eam scire, quod omnes photons, quod surrexit a te erant congregati in particula detectores, qui sunt eius oculis, quod eorum photons creavit in eam/eum stellis de electromagnetica praecepit neurons, cuius industria perpetuum.

Et physici suggeret congregatio, quantum ex omnibus viribus nostris data est, ut calor. Ut sit ibi paucos ruere se cum eorum rationes, ut ipse dicit. Et vult dicere, quod calor qui fluxit per te in vita hie est, tamen pars, et omnia, quae sunt, sicut nos qui lugent continue calor nostra vivit.

Et vos mos volo physici explicare iis, qui dilexit vos, quod illi opus non habere fidem; immo, non debet habere fidem. Exspectare potes familiam tuam argumenta examinare et sibi satisfacere quod scientia sana sit et se consolari ad cognoscendum industriam tuam circa adhuc esse. Vos spes familia tua requiram testimonium et sati. Secundum legem conservationis industriae nihil a vobis abest; tu minus ordinatus es. — Sung in Latin. Translated by Philip Blackburn, 2023